


The Summer of Reibert Headcanons

by shiro2hero



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Reibert - Freeform, Smut, stupid domestic fluff, this definitely contains smut now, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-03-30 07:10:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3927562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiro2hero/pseuds/shiro2hero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To help myself build a larger Reiner/Bertholdt work later on, I've created a bunch of headcanons for my favorite big dorks and decided to write a drabble each day until I start school in September!</p>
<p>Most of this will probably be fluff! But possibly angst and nsfw stuff at some point as well! If you have any headcanons you'd like me to write about, message me or find me on tumblr with this username!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reiner, no.

**Author's Note:**

> Headcanon: Sometimes Reiner will belly flop on the bed while Bertholdt is reading. Just because he's big and he can.

Bertholdt sat quietly beneath the cozy down comforter laid out on his bed as he read his favorite novel, reveling in its warmth on such a cold winter night. It was just about 11 p.m., the usual time he and Reiner would begin to settle down before falling asleep side by side. The worn pages of the book in his hands added to the sense of comfort and routine. Rain splattered against the narrow window above his head in a chaotic song that would soon lull him into a peaceful state of dreaming.

Reiner stood silently in the darkness of the hallway, just out of his boyfriend’s line of sight. The soft light cast by the two bedside lamps outlined Bertholdt’s narrow shoulders and gentle face perfectly, creating a halo effect that made him look positively angelic. Reiner smiled softly, relishing the fact that he was allowed every night to sleep next to such a perfect man. He pried himself away from the wall of the hallway and placed himself firmly in the doorway of the bedroom, standing proudly with his arms crossed against is broad chest. 

A few minutes passed and Reiner was beginning to feel a twinge of boredom as he watched Bertholdt turn the pages of the damn book in his hands. The worst was watching Bertl chew his lips. Something primal ached inside of Reiner, begging to be set loose at that sight. But Reiner stood his ground and waited patiently. Finally, after what felt like an eternity to Reiner, Bertholdt looked up from his book, blinking a few times as his eyes adjusted. His brow knit in confusion, and his lips began forming a question before a look of dawning apprehension took over his features as he noticed the sly smirk and mischevious glint in Reiner’s eyes.

“R-Reiner, no!”

“Reiner, yes.” Reiner’s smirk turned quickly into a wide grin as he quickly unfolded his arms and took a few running steps toward the edge of the bed, using the plush rug beneath his feet as a launch pad. “Rahhhhhhhhhhh!”

Bertholdt was quick to tuck his knees to his chest, just barely avoiding being crushed beneath Reiner’s weight as he flopped down on the bed with all his weight. His book soared through the air, and Bertoldt counted himself lucky that he had only been lifted a few inches off the bed. His giggling was incessant at this point, but when he looked down to see Reiner with a face full of feathers he couldn’t control the booming laugh that escaped him. 

“Okay, maybe I overdid it this time,” Reiner said through a mouthful of fluff. Bertholdt put both hands over his own face in an attempt to hide his blushing cheeks. Reiner wiggled closer to him, shaking the bed as he did so, and tickled Bertholdt’s side so that he would pull his hands away before Reiner blew feathers into his face as well. Bertholdt, of course, had to make an attempt to retaliate, resulting in a tickle war. 

Perhaps just for one night they could stay up a little later than usual.


	2. Tiffany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: Reiner desperately wants a corgi named Tiffany. No one knows why. But they do know he is severely allergic to corgis.

Everything smelled like dog biscuits. That almost earthy, musky smell that would sink into Bertholdt’s clothing for hours if he spent too much time in this little pet store. He didn’t mind that smell, but he wasn’t overly fond of the shrieks and shrill cries that assaulted his ears as he and Reiner passed rows of bird cages. The noise set him on edge every time; it reminded him of that awful sensation when he accidentally scraped a rake against concrete while cleaning out the garage. He shivered slightly at the thought of that feeling and tried to focus once more on the task Reiner had dragged him here for.

“Reiner, you know we are not getting a dog today, right?” he asked tentatively. Reiner had a firm grip on his left hand and was steadily pulling him deeper into the store to find the back wall lined with dog enclosures. Butterflies blossomed in the pit of Bertholdt’s stomach as his boyfriend turned around and grinned widely.

“I know, I know, but we have to at least check this one out!” Reiner said. He was practically jumping up and down with excitement. He had favorited the pet store’s adoption page on his laptop, checking it frequently for new arrivals and coercing Bertholdt into visiting the dogs every week or two. To Bertholdt’s utter embarassment, the girls who worked the front counter now knew them by name. But the sheer joy written all over Reiner’s face during these trips face made him seem almost childish, which was quite a feat for a man of his large stature, and Bertholdt just couldn’t find it in himself to tell Reiner no. So, as usual, Bertholdt subtely rolled his eyes and followed his boyfriend in silence.

As they finally reached the back wall, Bertholdt’s senses were overwhelmed by the unmistakable aroma of dog. Although he loved dogs, especially the two he had grown up with, he was positive that he would never be able to get used to that smell. He glanced around at the different enclosures, observing all the different mutts and breeds that were so eager to get adopted. A few older dogs lounged quietly in their beds while a group of small puppies yipped and whined excitedly from a small pen on his right. Bertholdt was sure that the puppies were going to be Reiner’s priority; the smaller the furry creature, the more unabashedly exuberant Reiner became. 

Reiner, however, had begun a bee line for a smaller enclosure in the middle of the wall. Bertholdt’s eyes quickly followed the enthusiastic bob of Reiner’s blonde head. His jaw went slack as he realized what was about to happen. 

“Oh my god, Reiner, please don’t!”

Reiner was already sticking his fingers through the bars of the enclosure, smiling like an idiot as the little orange and white corgi licked at them. “Awwwww, come on, Bertl! Look at her, she’s so cute!”

Bertholdt walked up behind him, stuffing his hands into his pockets defiantly. “Reiner. You are allergic to corgis.”

“Okay, yes, I am, but…oh my god, look at her jump up and down like that! She likes us, Bertl!”

“Reiner.”

“Bertl, I found her! This is the one! This is Tiffany!”

“Reiner. You are not getting this dog.”

Ignoring Bertholdt’s obviously annoyed tone, Reiner tried clumsily to stick his face as close to the enclosure as possible, letting the dog lick his face. “Ahhh! She even gives me kisses!”

Bertholdt watched the display with utter dismay. He felt a bit betrayed, like he had been tricked into agreeing to this trip. He wished now that he’d had the sense to stuff some benedryl in his pockets before driving over here. Reiner’s arms were beginning to develop splotches of angry red as he played with the dog, but Bertholdt knew that there was no way to pry Reiner away from the little dog. At least not until his hives started really getting out of control. Reiner had been searching for years for the perfect corgi to add to their home, declaring adamantly that it’s name was to be Tiffany. Why exactly he had fixated on a corgi was completely unknown; he refused to tell anyone his reasoning, even Bertholdt. He would, however, complain to anyone and everyone about how unfair it was that he, of all people, had been born with an allergy to that specific breed of dog. Bertholdt was suddenly struck with an idea. 

“Hey, um, maybe we could, uh, ask Annie if maybe she would adopt her.”

Reiner turned slowly, pulling his hand away from the enclosure to scratch at his arm. “Aw, come on, Bert! Can’t we just adopt her? Annie would go nuts with a dog around!”

“At least she’s not allergic,” Bertholdt countered. A playful smirk had settled onto his lips as he watched Reiner begin scratching more fervently at his arms. “If we can convince Annie to adopt Tiffany, then you can visit her any time you’d like. And you wouldn’t be constantly covered in hives.”

Reiner chuckled and ceased scratching his arms to look up at Bertholdt in amusement. “Right. Only a few days out of the week!”

Bertholdt smiled knowingly. Reiner knew just as well as he did that they could not adopt that dog, and had been waiting for Bertholdt to come up with a solution. Bertholdt chewed his lip absent mindedly as he watched Reiner continue to play with the dog. “I’m going to go talk to Mina about placing a hold on Tiffany, Rein. We should pick up some food to bring Annie if we’re going to ask her to do this. After we pick up some Benedryl for you.”

“Yeah, sure, sounds good,” Reiner replied, distracted once more by the corgi.

Bertholdt smiled, turning toward the front desk. It wasn’t going to be easy convincing Annie to take care of this dog. But perhaps if she could see the vibrant look in Reiner’s eyes as he played with it, maybe she would understand. Maybe she would get the same butterflies in her stomach, the same feeling of longing desire to wrap that big guy up her in her arms and kiss his forehead, to laugh at his dopey smile.

Yes. Yes, Bertholdt could definitely convince Annie to adopt Tiffany. There was really had no choice at this point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I could have written on this a lot more, but I have a mountain of biology homework to get through tonight. Hope you liked this little tidbit!


	3. The Science Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two heacanons, one chapter!
> 
> Headcanon 1: Bertholdt sometimes tries to hide his own stress because he feels like he will burden Reiner by talking about it. Reiner vehemently tries to break this habit. 
> 
> Headcanon 2: Sometimes if he knows Bertholdt is having a bad day, Reiner will find flowers to pick for him on his way home from work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week sucked, so I kind of suck and I didn't post for two days. So I smushed two days worth of headcanons into one drabble. Ha. Sorry!

The sizzling and hissing accompanying the savory scent of eggs and bacon drew Reiner out of bed far earlier than he was accustomed to. A quick string of curses told him that Bertholdt had probably burned his finger on the stove again. Reiner smiled sleepily as he turned into the kitchen doorway, watching his boyfriend hastily scrape at a pan on the stove with a spatula. Bertholdt seemed to become more frustrated with each passing second, which in turn incited a wave of curiosity and concern in Reiner’s chest. 

“Well, good morning, Sunshine,” Reiner’s voice was still hoarse from sleep as he walked up and wrapped his arms around Bertholdt’s waist. He peered around Bertholdt’s shoulder at the eggs he’d been scrambling. Strings of black flecked the yolky mess. Reiner could only assume that somehow Bertholdt had gotten melted bits of spatula in the eggs. He tightened his grip around Bertholdt’s waist. “Looks delicious. What’s the occasion?”

Bertholdt shifted uncomfortably against Reiner’s arms, reaching to turn already burnt bacon in a second pan. “I, um…I couldn’t sleep. I just decided to get up and try to make breakfast for you to make myself useful in some way.”

Picking up on the unusual emphasis on the word ‘try’ and odd tone of his boyfriend’s voice, Reiner pulled away to get a better look at him. Dark circles ringed Bertholdt’s rich brown eyes, giving his normally cheerful face a solemn appearance. It was apparent that this level of sleep deprivation had been built up over a number of days, and Reiner became instantly ashamed that he had not noticed Bertholdt’s stress earlier. 

Bertholdt glanced furtively at Reiner as he dished up the food. He had been hoping that Reiner would just accept the breakfast and head out for work as usual. Reiner had enough stress of his own as it was; owning his own mechanic shop had turned out to be much more time consuming and stressful than Reiner had imagined. Bertholdt picked up the plates and shuffled over to the kitchen table, flannel pajama pants swishing noiselessly as he went. 

Reiner followed slowly, his golden eyes tracing every movement Bertholdt made. “Babe. It’s five o’clock in the morning. What’s going on with you?”

“I’m fine, Rein. I promise.” Bertholdt eased his way into a chair and tried his best to look reassuring. Reiner ran his fingers through his tousled blond hair as he sat down as well. Bertholdt caught the suspicious glint in his eye and sighed heavily, admitting defeat. “It’s nothing big. It’s just the science fair at the school this Friday.”

“What about the science fair?” Reiner picked cautiously at the eggs set before him. 

“Well, Martha was supposed to be in charge of organizing it. She always organizes the science fair, she loves it. But she caught some sort of flu or something, and now she’s out for the week. So, somehow the organization got passed on to me.”

Bertholdt toyed with a crisp strip of bacon. His stomach flipped and twisted with anxiety as he waited for Reiner to speak. He suddenly felt very tired. 

Calloused finger tips brushed over the back of Bertholdt’s hand. He looked up to see Reiner leaning across the table, his eyes tinged with fierce love and worry. 

“Bertl. It’s Thursday. Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?”

“I, uh,” Bertholdt’s hand twitched beneath Reiner’s. His face grew hot. “You have enough stress to worry about on your own, Reiner. I didn’t want to burden you with this as well. It’s my stress to deal with. I can handle it.”

Reiner’s lips curled into a soft, lopsided grin. “I know you can, Bertl. You can always handle it.” He gripped Bertholdt’s hand firmly in his own. “But just because you can handle it alone doesn’t mean you have to. I’m always here. You know that. Always.”

“I know, and I appreciate that greatly, but I know that with the shop right now-“

“Bertholdt,” Reiner’s voice gained a firm tone. “Always. No matter what. I’m here for you.”

Bertholdt blinked furiously, trying to figure out how to respond. After a few conflicting moments he decided to just play it safe.   
“Thank you, Reiner. Um…how about we just go back to bed? I don’t think this food is edible anyway…”

Reiner’s hand suddenly retracted from its place around Bertholdt’s. He grabbed his fork and scooped up a large portion of eggs, shoving gooey mess into his mouth. His lopsided grin remained even as he chewed through the bits of plastic. Bertholdt giggled at the obvious display of pity. 

“Reiner-“

“Come on, Bertl. You have two more hours until you have to be up. Let’s go lay down, babe. You’ve got a long day ahead of you.”

***

Reiner’s cell phone buzzed noisily on his paper strewn desk. He hurriedly scrubbed at his greasy hands with lava soap at the sink across the room and hastened to read the text message he’d just received. 

From: Bertl  
I just want this day to be over. Billy already nearly set the place one fire with his volcanoe. I don’t even know how he managed to do that.

A short laugh escaped Reiner’s mouth. He slapped his hand over his mouth, feeling immediately guilty for laughing at Bertholdt’s stressor. 

To: Bertl  
aww babe. u only only have an hr left. just hang in there. :* :* :*

It wasn’t much of a response, he knew that. But the likelihood that Bertholdt would actually read the message low anyway. He set down his phone and began the arduous task of organizing the papers on his desk. He really needed to get better about keeping things in neat piles while he was at work. Today was not the day, though. He had more important things on his agenda. 

He shut off the last light in the shop before locking the door as he left the building. He glanced one last time at the sticky note he’d left on the closed sign. 'Closed early due to emergency. Sorry for the inconvenience.' That seemed respectable enough, right? They didn’t need to know what kind of emergency it was, after all.

Reiner turned to walk toward his SUV. A flash of yellow caught his eye, making him stop to get a better look. By the corner of the shop building, a small bunch of daffodils had bossomed. He’d noticed the shoots a few weeks earlier, but had since forgotten that they had existed. The woman who owned the building before him must have planted bulbs. He looked around at the other corner of the building and, sure enough, there was another bunch of yellow flowers. Reiner grinned widely as he happily began plucking the daffodils from their roots. Bertholdt may have been having a bad day, but Reiner was going to make sure that he had an absolutely wonderful night. 

***

Bertholdt let out a long breath as he slumped back against the front door of the house. He dropped his bag carelessly at the threshold, deciding that he would worry about its contents later. Running his hands over his face in exhaustion, he noticed a familiar, if uncommon, aroma wafting from the kitchen. He could hear Reiner humming a soft tune, which always seemed to contrast his normally deep, brash voice. Bertholdt followed the noise curiously. 

A large vase had been placed in the center of their small kitchen table, filled with bright golden daffodils accentuated by daisies and lavender. Bertholdt smiled, his eyes beginning to brim with tears. He moved swiftly to the stove, where Reiner stood obliviously humming as he continued with his culinary adventure. He threw his arms around Reiner’s broad shoulders and felt Reiner jump slightly. 

“I love you, Rein.” Bertholdt’s voice was nearly lost as he sighed the words into Reiner’s shoulder. 

Reiner smirked playfully. “I was supposed to be the one to surprise you, ya know.”

He turned off the stove and turned around in Bertholdt’s arms, wrapping his own around the taller man’s waist. They stood intertwined for a few moments, basking in each other’s embrace and the sense of comfort they provided to one another. Bertholdt was the first to let go, looking steadily into Reiner’s bright honey-hued eyes. 

“You made shrimp linguine.”

“Yeah. You’re favorite, right?” Reiner’s last word faltered a bit as if he wanted to make sure he had been correct. Bertholdt nodded happily, chewing his lower lip as he smiled. Reiner grinned widely in response. “Oh! I got some wine, too. I don’t know if you’ll like it, but it seemed like it might be alright.”

“I’m sure I’ll love it, Reiner,” Bertholdt giggled as he spoke. “Just as much as I love the flowers. Where did you find those, anyway?”

Reiner glanced over Bertholdt’s shoulder at the vase on the table. He wished he’d done a better job tying the translucent ribbon around it’s neck. “Outside the shop, actually. Remember how we used to go find them when we were kids? Just reminded me of that. Thought you might like them.”

The rosey tint on Reiner’s cheeks did not go unnoticed by Bertholdt. He kissed Reiner’s cheek gently and nuzzled his nose. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, Bertl.” Reiner mimicked Bertholdt’s movements instinctively. “Don’t try to hide stuff next time. I love you.”

“Yeah,” Bertholdt pulled Reiner closer, “I love you, too, Reiner.”


	4. College Comforts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> COLLEGE AU. WOOOOOOOOOOOO. 
> 
> Headcanon: Bertholdt's guilty pleasures are bad horror movies on Netflix, and buttered popcorn with extra salt and miniature Reese's peanut butter cups. He always keeps those food items on hand and fills his Netflix list with dumb movies in case he has a rough day or can't fall asleep.

A slick sheen of sweat coated his body. His eyes snapped open, searching the cramped dorm room desperately. He quickly ran his hand over his face, wiping furiously at the beads of sweat that were nearly dripping from his brow, and slicked his blond hair back from his forehead as he sat upright. Moonlight shone brightly through the single window in the center of the wall his headboard sat against, casting an eerie glow on him that only hightened his palor. 

Reiner began searching desperately for his cell phone, ignoring the disgruntled mumblings of his roommate, Jean, who had apparently been woken up by him. After a few panicked moments, he finally found the object he sought after, caught between his mattress and the thick wood of the standard-issue beframe. No new notifications apeared on the screen as it lit up. Reiner quickly began a new text message. 

_To: Berturtle  
are u ok? _

Immediately after sending the message, Reiner was hit with an overwhelmin feeling of idiocy. Of course Bertholdt was okay. What the hell kind of trouble could someone like Bertholdt get into on a university campus? Reiner was overreacting to a stupid dream. Bertholdt would probably read that text message in the morning and look at Reiner like he was a moron. 

His phone lit up as a new text message came in. 

_From: Berturtle  
Yeah, I’m fine. I just can’t sleep…are YOU okay?_

Reiner drew a long breath, studying the brightly lit screen in the darkness. Jean’s grumblings had ceased, but Reiner’s restlessness would only grow from this point until dawn. 

_To: Berturtle  
fine. can I come over?_

The pass card reader beeped in approval as Reiner slid his student ID card through it. He quickly made his way through the eerily quiet hallways of the Trost dorm, snaking up the concrete staircases until he got to Bertholdt’s hall. The stale scent of years-old carpet and industrial cleaner was masked, albeit temporarily, by the savory aroma of butter and salt. Reiner walked into the lounge area of the hall to find Bertholdt curled up on the stiff maroon couch, wrapped snuggly in his navy blue comforter as he scrolled through Netflix movies on his laptop. It was, by far, the most adorable display he’d ever witnessed in his life, Reiner decided. 

“ _Berturtle Burrito_.” His made sure to keep his voice quiet, but not so quiet that Bertholdlt couldn’t hear him. An grin spread across his rugged features as Bertholdt shot him an exaggerated look of unamusement. 

“It is not my fault that the weather decided to be awful tonight,” Bertholdt countered simply. He leaned forward to set his computer on the short table in front him. “If you stop making fun of me, I might share my blanket with you.”

“I wasn’t making fun of you!” Reiner’s cheeks flushed at the accusation. 

Bertholdt rolled his eyes playfully as he unravelled the blanket cocoon he had exertly wrapped himself in an hour before. He shivered as the cold night’s air hit his skin and motioned for Reiner to join hm quickly. Reiner happily plopped down beside him, revelling in the warmth of the blanket. 

“So, what are we watching?”

“Troll Hunter,” Bertholdt replied dryly. 

“I…uh...are you serious?”

Bertholdt glanced over his shoulder at Reiner’s confused expression before starting the movie on his laptop screen. “Yes, I am serious. I like to watch bad movies when I can’t sleep. They…I don’t know, it helps me fall asleep sometimes.”

A few moments passed. Reiner moved suddenly, pulling the thick comforter up above his nose. 

“Okay. But I don’t like scary movies. You might have to hold my hand.” He peered over the edge of the blanket at Bertholdt, eyes shining brightly with feigned fear as his forehead contracted and his eyebrows pulled together into the best puppy dog face he could manage. Bertholdt studied him for a moment before turning away with faux disinterest. 

“I will not do that."

“Damn, you get mean this late at night, Bertl.”

“Mmhmm.” Bertholdt picked up a large plastic bowl he had set on the floor next to the couch. He stuffed a few pieces of popcorn into his mouth before offerin the bowl to his blond companion. Reiner looked into the bowl with disgust. 

“Dude. Are those mini Reese’s peanut butter cups?”

Bertholdt gazed straight ahead at the computer screen, focusing on the beginning credits of the movie. “Yeah. And extra salt.” He turned to face Reiner, suddenly concerned. “Is that okay?”

Lines of worry etched into his face, accentuating his soft features with an extra sense of kindness. Reiner wasn’t sure he would ever be able to say no to this boy. But damn, did he have some strange habits. 

“You pregnant?” Reiner blurted thoughtlessly. He felt his cheeks begin to burn immediately. Another idiot mistake. Bertholdt fidgeted with a corner of his comforter as he trained his eyes on the laptop screen once more. Reiner followed his gaze, feeling himself sink deeper and deeper into embarassment on behalf of them both. “Sorry. That was rude. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“N-no, it’s okay,” Bertholdt replied. His voice was quiet, and Reiner wasn’t sure if it was because he was trying to focus on the movie or because he felt hurt. “My mom used to use M &M’s. It was a treat for movie nights. But I like peanut butter cups better.”

As if to reaffirm his statement, Bertholdt popped a salty peanut butter cup into his mouth and smiled as he looked at Reiner. His brown eyes shone with happiness, tinged with the exhaustion that was ever present in a college student. Reiner could not help but be amazed by the level of comfort that had developed between them over the past couple of years. He reached into the plastic bowl and selected his own chocolatey treat. 

“Oh,” he said, rolling the salty confection between his teeth. “Huh. ‘S not bad.”

Bertholdt’s sweet smile grew wider. He turned his gaze back to the movie, which he could already tell was going to be awful. 

“Hey, Reiner?”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you ask me if I was okay?”

Reiner paused his reach for the popcorn. Why had he asked that? Because of a dream? What the hell had that dream even been about? He could hardly remember anything about it now, but it had seemed very urgent that he check on Bertholdt when he finally pulled himself back into a conscious state. 

“Dunno,” he said. He grabbed a handful of popcorn and chocolate. “I just woke up and got a weird feeling that maybe something was wrong.”

Bertholdt nodded silently, his eyes still glued to the screen as he watched a film crew begin their quest to find giants. “Well. I’m glad you came over. Thank you.”

The chocolate in Reiner’s hand was melting quickly. He kept his eyes focused forward on the movie, but was aching to glance over at Bertholdt’s soft featured profile again. He chewed his lip for a few moments, trying to decide what the best plan of action would be. Not finding many options, he shoved the handful of popcorn and peanut butter cups into his mouth. 

“Anything for you, Bertl.” The words came out of his mouth in a garbled mess, but he thought the message got across. 

Bertholdt burst into a fit of giggles. If there was anyone in the world he’d like to accidentally fall asleep on tonight while watching terrible horror movies this big blond doofus was definitely the one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot be held responsible for any spelling errors in this because I am tired af and MICROSOFT WORD WAS BEING A BITCH. But, hey! College AU! I fucking love college AUs, so please, please, pleeeeeeeease let me know if you liked this chapter! It was super fun to write!


	5. Lady Pains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHOA HEY ANNIE IS IN THIS ONE??? I'M GETTING ADVENTUROUS, YO.
> 
> Headcanon: Reiner is the biggest mama bear ever. He always worries about his friends and will do anything for them. And he always makes sure to get the best of the best when it comes to taking care of Annie and Bertholdt.

“I swear to every god ever thought up by man, I will go for your fucking jugular if this is not important,” Annie muttered into her cell phone. The thick material of her sweat pants chafed against her waist as she squirmed to reach the phone, agitating her even more than the tight feeling twisting and pulling in the unholy pit of her belly. She had been lying in bed all morning, tossing and turning, drifting in and out of sleep for as long as the piercing cramps would allow. 

“..whoa,” Reiner’s reply was short and riddled with hesitation on the other end of the call. “I just wanted to see if you were alright. You weren’t in chem this morning, and we…we were just worried. You okay?”

Annie shifted again, clutching at her abdomen with her free hand through the old sweatshirt she wore. He was trying, she had to admit that. Reiner was more brave regarding this subject than most men she’d come across.

“I feel like my uterus is trying to claw it’s way out of my fucking vagina.”

“Ah.” Reiner said nothing more for a few moments. He was quite used to Annie’s blunt nature, especially during this particular, unfortunate, week. In fact, he was usually pretty good at keeping track and making himself aware of when this would be happening. If he could do anything to help ease Annie’s pain and suffering, he gladly would. A twinge of guilt panged in his chest for not remembering this month. “Well, uh…do you want me to bring you anything? I was planning on going to the store with Bertl right now anyway. I’ll get whatever you want. My treat.”

He glanced cautiously at Bertholdt as they walked back to his dorm room, receiving a confused and concern stare in return. They had not actually been planning on going anywhere but Reiner’s room to study, but Bertholdt seemed to understand instantly that there was something urgent going on.

Annie thought the offer over, picking at the little balls of fuzz built up on the pocket of her hoodie. If there were anyone who she could trust to be around her right now, she decided, it would absolutely be those two idiots. Another cramp struck her abdomen with ferocity. 

“Naproxen. Ibuprofen. Something chocolate. And I mean real fucking chocolate, don’t let String Bean convince you to buy the low calorie shit.”

Reiner’s pitiful attempt to stifle a giggle at the last comment could be heard over the reciever, but Annie was too much immersed in her lady pains to even care. 

“Your wish is my command, short stuff. Hold tight, we’ll be there soon.”

***

Bertholdt stared hopelessly at Reiner’s bulky form as they stood huddled around the small wall of pain relievers. Ten minutes had passed while Reiner compared active ingredients and capsule strengths in different brands of naproxen and ibuprofen, wondering aloud every now and then if he should just purchase some Midol instead. Despite Bertholdt’s nudges and prods toward a cheap product that would get the job done, Reiner insisted on “bringing Annie the best.”

“Reiner, she only asked for three things,” Bertholdt said. He was growing more exasperated with each passing second, though he understood the concern Reiner was feeling. Bertholdt adored Annie, and of course he would do anything in his power to help her feel better. But this was getting out of hand. “If you are not done in five seconds, I’m going to pick out chocolate for her by myself.”

“Bertl, just a few more minutes, I just gotta-“

“Five.”

“No, but I’m almost-“

“Four.”

“But what if I don’t get the right-“

“Three.”

“Okay! Okay, geez, I’ll just get these ones then.” Reiner tossed two small bottles of medication into the shopping tote slung over Bertholdt’s arm. He glared at Bertholdt, his amber eyes filled with curiosity. “Did you just go all second grade teacher on me?”

“I…um…” Bertholdt stumbled over his response. Reiner’s piercing gaze had always left him flustered. He could feel his ears begin to burn as his forehead began to sweat in his nervousness. “Well, it worked, didn’t it?”

They stood facing each other in the aisle, eyes locked, ignoring the buzz and babble of he surrounding shoppers. Suddenly, they both burst with laughter. Reiner clutched at his sides. Bertholdt threw his free hand over his mouth in an attempt to stifle the booming noise that escaped his lips anyway. 

“Okay. Alright, let’s get her chocolate and get the hell out of here,” Reiner finally managed to say. 

After some debate about whether to take Annie ice cream, cake, or a chocolate bar, Reiner won out with his strategy to just take a little bit of each. 

“Whatever she doesn’t want we can give to Sasha,” he reasoned out decisively.

“Reiner, you have got to stop trying to feed everyone on your floor. You can’t afford to feed all of the starving college students in the world. You’re going to go broke.”

“At least they’ll be fed,” Reiner countered absent mindedly. They had ended up next to the natural and organic foods section of the store on their quest for chocolate cake. Reiner eyed the wall of tea thoughtfully before taking a few quick steps toward it. “One more thing!”

Bertholdt groaned, but followed behind Reiner dutifully. He watched as Reiner jumped excitedly from one end of the aisle to the other, hauling his bulky form to and fro as he sought the perfect product once more. Reiner cried out triumphantly as he plucked a small tin from the bottom shelf of the wall and sauntered over to throw it in the tote atop the ice cream and chocolate bars. Bertholdt glanced between the tea tin and Reiner’s proud expression in sheer confusion. 

“Um…why do we need catnip?”

Reiner rolled his eyes in dramatic exasperation. “It’s catnip tea, Bertl. It’s supposed to help with all the, ya know…” He made a clenching motion with his hands near his stomach. 

Bertholdt eyed him suspiciously. “I don’t think I want to know how, or _why_ , you know that, Rein.”

Reiner grinned widely and punched Bertholdt playfully in the shoulder, leading him out of the aisle to resume his search for chocolate cake. 

***

“Your knights in shining armor have arrive!” Reiner trotted gallantly into Annie’s dorm room, nearly tripping over the turqoise rug set on the sparsely carpeted floor as he presented her with the chocolate cake. 

“More like losers in dirty hoodies,” Annie sneered. Reiner laughed as she examined the cake before deeming it worthy for consumption. She looked up and made sure to make eye contact with both Reiner and Bertholdt. “Thank you. Really.”

Bertholdt’s smile was soft, understanding. He grabbed the remaining items out of the plastic bag in his hands and set them out on Annie’s desk. 

“We weren’t really sure what to get. So we kind of just got it all.” He shoved the small container of ice cream into the mini fridge/freezer next to the desk. Reiner flopped unceremoniously onto Annie’s bed, launching the poor girl a few inches into the air and earning himself a heated glare from her cool blue eyes. 

“Including this sandwich for us! Look at this thing, Annie!” Reiner extracted a rather larger sub sandwich from his own grocery bag along with a bag of Bertholdt’s favorite cheese flavored chips. Annie arched an eyebrow skeptically and shot a glance at Bertholdt. 

“His idea. Not mine,” Bertholdt said quietly. 

“Uh-huh,” Annie huffed. She jabbed Reiner in the ribs with her finger. “If you get crumbs all over my bed I’ll shave your head while you sleep. Bertl, can you bring me that ibuprofen? And maybe some wat- REINER I SWEAR TO GOD.”

Bertholdt dropped to the mini fridge once more to grab a bottle of water, hoping that Annie couldn’t see his amused smirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ends this because I had no idea what else to do*
> 
> Yeah, so, that happened. The world needs more Annie, so she's probably going to be showing up more frequently from here on out!


	6. Heat Wave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: The only time Bertholdt doesn't sweat is in the dead of summer when everyone else is getting dehydrated every hour due to excessive perspiration. 
> 
> Inspired by the ridiculous fucking heat I've been dealing with since my move to California and squad member Nastassia. BLESS YOU FOR GETTING MY ASS IN GEAR.

The city of Sina had been suffering through a heat wave for the past week, exacerbating the drought that already affected the entire surrounding area. But this day was unusually hot; by far the hottest day of the summer thus far. And naturally, the air conditioning in the apartment building had gone out. Some malfunction in the wiring due to the heat wave. 

Under Armin’s genius command, everyone had migrated into one apartment and brought along all the fans they could find, setting them in the middle of the room to blow outward. The idea was to blow the hot air out of the room while also giving them a little bit of wind to cool down with. Was it working? Not really. But no one dared argue because it was the best plan they had. Ymir continuously grumbled about having to share her and Christa’s apartment with the rest of their college brood, but couldn’t argue the fact that it was the best choice of all their apartments. Connie and Sasha were too fucking disgusting; Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie too selective about who could touch what, and Reiner would turn into an overbearing mother hen; Mikasa, Eren, and Armin…well, Eren always got on a power trip about everyone “being in his home and following his rules”; as for Jean and Marco, well, Marco’s décor was just too fucking gay for Ymir to handle. 

The buzz of whatever stupid daytime court room show was on the small television was muffled by the whirs and creaks of all the fans they had set up on the thin red and yellow area rug at the center of the room. Eren and Armin lounged on the floor, kicking absent mindedly at the carpet’s edge with their bare toes, while Mikasa sat slumped in the armchair above them. Jean and Marco both sat on the couch with their legs set as far apart as space would allow, Marco graciously allowing Sasha to rest her feet in his lap as she sat in Connie’s. Connie randomly made little whining and groaning noises every so often that would, almost in reflex be mimicked by Sasha. Ymir, ever grumbling, had her arm slung over the shoulders of her tiny blonde girlfriend, who sat on the loveseat with her legs adorably crossed, eyes fixed on the television through the jumble of stands and cords of the fans. Ymir hated how uncomfortable she felt with the constant sheen of sweat slicking her freckled skin. But she had to admit, she was glad that her suffering was shared by her friends. It kind of made her feel like her complaints were valid. So while she was pissed about the heat, and even more pissed about having to share her apartment, she couldn’t help but grin as she glanced around the room at everyone. Everyone except the guy perched uncomfortably in a kitchen chair next to the loveseat she sat in. 

“Hey, String Bean. Are you…are you not sweating?” 

Every head in the room turned as soon as the question left Ymir’s lips. 11 pairs of eyes stared at him from around the room, the emotion in them varying from mere curiosity to tired delusion to absolute outrage. 

Bertholdt had no idea how to respond. He began tapping his knee with his index finger. “I, um…”

“Oh my god, he’s not! He’s not sweating! Bertholdt, what the fuck?” Eren confirmed Ymir’s observation from his station on the floor across the room, ever the loudmouth. He paused in his action of fanning himself with one of Christa’s old Cosmopolitan magazines and threw his arms out in front of himself with exaggeration. “The fuck kind of witchcraft are you practicing?”

Bertholdt felt his ears and cheeks flush as Ymir leaned over closer to him, abandoning the shoulder of her girlfriend, who was much relieved of the extra body heat. The tapping of his knee ceased as he began rubbing the back of his neck. “W-Well, it’s just this weird thing-“

“Jesus fuck, Bertl, how the hell are you not sweating? My balls are melting off over here!” Jean piped up, emphasizing his words by flailing his legs up off the couch and further exposing his groin. Marco, who sat on Jean’s right, looked at his boyfriend in exasperation as Jean readjusted the green basketball shorts he wore. 

“Poetic, Jean. Really enamoring.” Marco turned his freckled face back to the fan directly in front of him. 

“Well, shit! Don’t try to tell me you’re not! It’s 104 degrees!”

“It, ah…it must just be the new deodorant I decided to try. I don’t know,” Bertholdt meekly tried to explain. He did feel quite odd being the only person in the room who wasn’t sweating profusely; ordinarily the situation was quite opposite. 

Ymir was closer to him than ever, running a quick finger down the side of his face before he could pull away. Her nose scrunched up as she scrutinized her fingertip. “You put the deodorant on your face then, huh? Sure about that?”

“Oh my GOD, Ymir, leave him alone! He’s never gonna use it again if you keep getting’ in his face like that!” Reiner threw up his hands, making the glass of ice water he held slosh dangerously. He shot a glare at Ymir over the back of the kitchen chair he slouched over next to Bertholdt, as if to warn her of the consequences if she continued her heckling. 

“Hey, no one asked you, you blonde gorilla!”

“He’s my boyfriend!”

“I don’t give two shits, I wasn’t talkin’ to you!”

Ymir and Reiner were far too close to Bertholdt for comfort, both leaning over him to gain better positions to shoot threatening glares at one another. 

“Ymir! Please stop!” Christa whined. She tugged meekly at Ymir’s worn black t-shirt. “Let’s just go out and get some more popsicles, please…I think that’s the only thing that’s been keeping us all sane around here.”

“Yeah, I’m sure Horse Face has been enjoying having something long and slick in his mouth all day.”

“Hey, man, you know what they say, always judge a man’s junk by whatever the fuck animal his face resembles. Too bad you look like a ferret.”

“Shut the fuck up, Kirschtein!”

Bertholdt slid down a bit into his stiff seat as Ymir was practically dragged out the door by Christa. Reiner thumped him on the shoulder affectionately and everyone else just let the subject drop. They were all too absorbed in their own misery to be bothered any longer by Bertholdt’s lack of perspiration. But Bertholdt would never be able to forget about it.  
***

The next day carried on much as the previous. The sun’s rays were unrelenting, pounding down on the city and piercing even the thickest building walls. Everyone was once again gathered in the apartment of Ymir and Christa, much to Ymir’s disdain, all sitting in what appeared to now be their usual spots. The television buzzed behind the noise of the fans, and nearly everyone in the room sat either entranced by the ridiculous courtroom proceedings on screen or some sort of social media on their cell phones.

Reiner, being one of the exceptions to this, was leaning over the back of the chair he had flipped around, chest pressed to the wooden frame as he picked at the hem on Bertholdt’s t-shirt sleeve. His blonde hair was plastered with sweat to the skin on the nape of his neck and forehead, and he wore an expression of utter discomfort. Heat had always been something he could deal with. It had never really bothered him before; he loved getting outdoors, playing sports, going on hikes, doing anything that got him out in the sun. But this was not just heat, or sunlight. This was hell, as far as Reiner was concerned. Sweaty, sweaty hell. 

His tall, lanky boyfriend had somehow been granted the gift of being sweat-free during ridiculously hot weather. Any other time of the year and Bertholdt would be clammy and sweat-ridden continuously, but for some odd reason during the summer months he stayed peculiarly dry. When Reiner had first discovered this, he was a little weirded out. He’d stayed the night at Bertholdt’s when they were in middle school and, despite all the outdoor exploring they had done in the summer heat, Bertholdt didn’t sweat a drop. Reiner let the subject drop quickly after making note of it, because Bertholdt had seemed even more bashful than usual after he commented on it. Since then they hadn’t really talked about it. Although Reiner did every now and then rub his sweaty head on Bertholdt’s chest just to hear the giggles and noises of protest that his precious Bertl made. 

Since Bertholdt’s “problem” had never been worrisome for Reiner, he was surprised when Bertholdt seemed so upset about the comments from their friends the day before. Bertholdt had taken off for a while after leaving the girls’ apartment and come back with a small item he had made Reiner swear to never speak of again. Of course, Reiner had agreed. And so, now they sat quietly among their friends once again in Ymir and Christa’s apartment, on the hard and uncomfortable chairs stolen from the kitchen table. All was going well, and would have continued to go well, had Bertholdt’s ingenius plan not had one fatal flaw. 

“Well look who’s actually sweating today,” Ymir drawled as she returned from the bathroom. She gave Bertholdt a once over, approving of the wet patches under his arms. Bertholdt swallowed and glanced nervously in Reiner’s direction.

“Yeah, I, um…I didn’t like that deodorant. It, ah, it smelled weird.” This was a blatant lie, and a painfully obvious one at that, but no one, including Ymir, had enough energy to call him out on such a miniscule thing. Ymir plopped down into her seat and wrapped her arm around Christa’s shoulder again, resuming her scan of the room and its occupants. She did a double take as her eyes landed on a strange object in Bertholdt’s pocket. 

“Do you have a fucking spray bottle in your pocket?” Her voice was full of incredulity and curiosity, laced with a bit of an appalled tone. Bertholdt’s hand flew to his pocket, shoving the nozzle of the small bottle back into his pocket. 

“It just, um…it helps with the heat, you know? Just, ah, just spray your face with a little water and it…it feels really good if you sit in front of a fan,” he hoped this would suffice as enough of an excuse for Ymir. The last thing he needed was her blasting him in front of everyone again. 

Ymir huffed and turned her head to face the fan in front of her. “Huh. You’re a weird one, String Bean.”

Bertholdt felt a familiar flutter of relief run through his chest and he let out a shallow sigh. He felt a gentle tug on his shirt sleeve and looked to his right. Reiner looked up at him, chin resting on the back of the chair he was leaning on, with a reassuring grin on his face as he continued to nip and pull at the hem of Bertholdt’s shirt. Bertholdt felt blessed to have such a loving boyfriend. He wasn’t entirely sure that anyone else would have so readily accepted him when he told them he was _intentionally_ wetting the underarms of his t-shirts to fit in. 

Bertholdt smiled softly and leaned over to touch his forehead to Reiner’s. He couldn’t bring himself to protest when Reiner rubbed his sweaty head all over his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, finals and moving are both now complete and I have zero excuse not to be writing everyday, so please bug me. It's not annoying I swear. I'm on tumblr at danchoutouchthebooty.tumblr.com, invade my ask with headcanons! :)


	7. Fireworks Don't Belong There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: Reiner sometimes makes stupid bets with Eren. But it's nothing compared to the bets Eren makes with Jean. 
> 
> Also, he is really a 60 year old man and still carries around a check book. 
> 
> Happy 4th of July to my fellow Americans! Hope no one ended up in the hospital!

Bertholdt’s grip on the edge of his cracked leather seat was nearly turning his knuckles white as Reiner sped through traffic. The cramped quarters of Reiner’s beat up old pick up truck were always a tight fit for Bertholdt, but tonight he slid around the cab with ease. Reiner switched lanes, for possibly the tenth time in the last 60 seconds, without his blinker. 

“Hey, Reiner, could you, um…could you slow down a bit?” Bertholdt could hardly hear his own voice over the tumultuous fury of the old engine. His hand flew up to brace himself against the edge of the open window as Reiner recklessly changed lanes yet again. 

“Horse Dick is in the hospital, Bert. Not exactly the time to worry about the speed limit,” Reiner replied. He sounded almost disinterested. All of his attention was fixed on the road ahead of him, scoping out the fastest route and quickest shortcuts to the hospital. Bertholdt’s tongue flicked across his lips nervously. He could taste the small droplets of sweat that had migrated down from his upper lip. 

“Well…Mikasa did say he was okay. Getting us into an accident isn’t going to help Jean at all.”

Reiner glanced over at his boyfriend, noting how obviously nervous he was. He eased on the gas pedal, slowing to match pace with the minivan in front of them. “Guess you’re right.” 

Bertholdt let out a long breath, slackening his long fingers that had gripped the window’s edge. He took a couple more deep breaths as he tried to steady himself. Reiner’s truck always made him nervous, no matter how often or how fiercely Reiner claimed that it was in perfect health, but when his driving became erratic it nearly gave him a heart attack. Having calmed himself enough, he focused on their destination. 

“What exactly did Jean do, anyway? All I really know is that he’s in the E.R.”

A bubbly giggle escaped Reiner, despite his efforts to hold it back behind his grin.

“Eren bet him fifty bucks that he wouldn’t light a fire cracker in his boxers.”

“Um,” Bertholdt stared out the windshield incredulously. “You mean he…he stood in his boxers while holding it.”

“Nope.”

“Then he…”

“Yup.”

“Oh my god.” Bertholdt covered his face with his hands, running his long fingers over the perspiration that beaded there. He was thrown against the door of the truck again as Reiner made a sharp turn into the hospital parking lot, now laughing hysterically without remorse. “Ow, Reiner…oh my god, Jean’s done some stupid things, but he really fell for this?”

“Apparently he’s stupider than he looks,” Reiner replied, pulling into the nearest parking space. He shot Bertholdt an amused smiled before bursting into another fit of giggles. Suddenly things started making sense to Bertholdt. His jaw dropped as apprehension took over his mind. 

“You were in on it!”

Reiner clutched haphazardly at the red t-shirt he wore, his abdomen becoming sore with laughter. “I bet Eren,” his voice drifted back into laughter, “bet him that…that Jean _wouldn’t_ do it…fuck…never been happier…never been happier to be proved wrong!”

The sound of Reiner’s booming laughter echoed off the metallic ceiling of the truck’s cab. He leaned his head on the steering wheel as tears streamed down his face. Bertholdt stared, eyes wide, jaw hanging, knitting his brow in confusion. 

“Jean could have seriously gotten hurt! This isn’t funny, Reiner!”

“Oh come on, Bertl, he’s fine,” Reiner said. He sat up, looking at his boyfriend with watery eyes, and swiped quickly at his cheeks. “Didn’t think he’d actually do it. ‘Sides, Mikasa said he’s fine. Just a little burn.”

Bertholdt’s gaze hardened. He felt slightly hurt that Reiner would make a bet of any sort on something so dangerous, but he also knew that Reiner had no harmful intentions. Shifting his gaze down to the dirty toes of his well worn sneakers, he decided to let it go. “Okay. Let’s just go check on Jean.”

“Ah. Speakin’ of checks,” Reiner unbuckled his seat belt and dug through his pockets, finally pulling a checkbook out, “I owe Eren twenty big ones.”

Bertholdt groaned, sinking as far into that cracked leather bench seat as far as his long legs would allow. Having a feisty blonde boyfriend was much more work than he had anticipated.


	8. Outstretched Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: Reiner is a whiny lil shit in the mornings. Bertholdt really doesn't mind.

Bertholdt blinked rapidly against the early morning light. The soft, well worn fabric of the comforter brushed his cheek as he pulled it up over his head, grunting feebly in his attempt to thwart the sun’s rays. He pulled his knees up to his chest, curling into a ball, absolutely refusing to wake up early on a Saturday. As far as he was concerned, daylight savings time needed to be tradition that was put to rest. He could hear Reiner’s disgruntled groans to his left, and soon felt Reiner heave the blanket over his own face and shift his body heavily.

“Babe. C’mere,” Reiner muttered, his voice muffled by the fabric that clung to his dry morning lips. Bertholdt buried his face deeper into the handful of blanket at his face. He was too comfortable to be bothered this early in the morning, even by the love of his life. 

“Mrrrrrhhhh,” Bertholdt groaned. 

“But babyyyy.” That was it. Reiner’s whine won out; Bertholdt had never been able to deny him a single thing when he broke out those pitiful little whimpers in the mornings. 

“You’re always so needy in the morning,” Bertholdt huffed. There were no ill intentions in his voice, of course. Any chance to cuddle up with Reiner was welcome, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t give his big blonde bear a hard time every now and then. He untangled his long legs from the ball he had curled into and turned to wiggle his way over to his boyfriend, who he genuinely suspected had already drifted off again. As he turned, he was poked hard on the tip of his nose. 

“ _Boop_ ,” Reiner giggled. His arms were fully extended across the bed, beckoning Bertholdt into the warmth of his embrace. After a moment to recover from the shock of being poked in the face at 6 a.m., Bertholdt was able to see the scene in it’s truest beauty. Sunlight trickled through the fabric of the comforter over their heads, casting a serene glow upon Reiner’s strong featured face. The sharp line of his jaw, the steep cut of his nose, his broad cheekbones…he looked radiant, stunning, absolutely angelic. His crisp golden eyes were glazed over with sleep as he gazed tenderly at Bertholdt. His lips tugged gently up at the corners to form the softest smile Bertholdt could ever recall seeing on a human being. How he had become so blessed as to wake up next to this beautiful summation of man would forever be a mystery. 

Reiner began grasping at the space between them impatiently, pulling his bottom lip into a gentle pout. Pulling himself out of his adoring reverie, Bertholdt wormed his way through the tangle of sheets and nestled himself against his boyfriend’s broad chest. Reiner’s arms wrapped around his shoulders habitually, smoothing the rumpled fabric of his t-shirt. He threw his leg over that of Bertholdt’s which had pushed between his knees. The two settled into one another with ease, Bertholdt listening to the steady buh-bump of Reiner’s slow heartbeat, Reiner breathing in the tangy scent of Bertholdt’s mussed brunet locks. 

Birds began chirping outside the window above them. Bertholdt groaned, pulling Reiner closer, and muttered a quick complaint about the tree that had been planted outside that window to provide shade inside the bedroom. He buried his face further into Reiner’s chest, even as an amused chuckle sent vibrations through it and tickled his nose. Reiner reached up and pulled the comforter down tighter around them as if to shield his precious Bertl from the bright sights and sounds of early morning. A contented sigh left Bertholdt, pooling his warm breath on Reiner’s chest as he slowly slipped back into a slumbering state. Yet even on the brink of sleep, he could imagine no dream that would best the feeling of being held tight in his boyfriend’s arms.


	9. Plush Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: You can't take Reiner anywhere without expecting some ridiculous shenanigans on his behalf. Especially if he finds quirky, organ shaped plushies.

A paperback slipped out of Bertholdt’s hand, landing with a sharp smack on the hardwood floor of the bookstore. He and Reiner had decided to browse the store after visiting their favorite Thai restaurant for lunch downtown. Neither of them had intended to spend any money, but Bertholdt’s arms were now laden with paperbacks and hard covers as he navigated through the many rows and shelves in search for his blond companion. He clawed desperately at the various volumes in his arms as he stooped to pick up the fallen book. 

“Bertllllll!”

Reiner’s sudden boisterous shout caused Bertholdt to jump, sending the remaining books in his arms scattering across the hardwood. He sighed heavily. Reiner was bouncing toward him, unaware of the glares and stink eyes he was receiving from other patrons, with his arms behind his back as he very obviously hid something from Bertholdt’s view. Bertholdt felt the twinge of annoyance in his chest begin to ease as he watched his boyfriend’s jaunty steps, admiring his muscled build beneath the boot cut jeans and blank tank top he wore. He tore his eyes away, refusing to give into fantasy in the middle of a bookstore, and focused his attention once more on picking up the books splayed out before him. 

“Reiner, you can’t be so loud in here. It’s rude,” Bertholdt gently scolded. Reiner stopped heavily in front of him, his black boots creating a resounding thud on the hardwood. Bertholdt took a deep breath. He loved Reiner with all his heart, but sometimes the man acted damn childish. “Okay,” he looked up at Reiner from his vantage point on the floor and tried to hide the slight annoyance in his voice, “Okay, I’ll bite. What did you find?”

Reiner just stood with a pleased smirk on his face. His golden eyes shone bright with mischief. Finally, after what seemed like hours to Bertholdt, but in reality was more like seconds, he swung his arms out in front of him, shoving a purple plush toy in his brunet boyfriend’s face. Bertholdt pulled his face back in surprise and tried to figure out what the purple blob was supposed to be. 

“What is…is that a kidney?” His voice was riddled with confusion. He turned his deep brown eyes up to Reiner in hopes of an answer. Reiner looked like he was about to burst with laughter. 

“Yeah. It’s for you.”

That was possibly the least helpful response he could have gotten. “Um…why did you bring me a kidney?”

“Because _urine my heart_.”

Unable to hold himself together any longer, Reiner let out a small giggle that subsided quickly into a booming laugh. He covered his mouth in an attempt to stifle the noise. Bertholdt, however, just stared up at him in awe. This was the man he had fallen head over heels for, who he day dreamed about constantly, the one he trusted above all others. Yes, the love of his life was making loud jokes about urine in the middle of a public book store. 

“Okay, time to go,” Bertholdt quietly declared. He gathered the remaining books into his arms quickly and made towards the front register. 

“Wait!” Reiner grabbed at the back of Bertholdt’s plaid button up. “We’re getting this.”

Bertholdt glanced behind him at the purple kidney Reiner was trying to shove in his face again.

“No. No we are not.”

“But Bertl!”

“Reiner, I am not looking at a stuffed kidney every morning for the rest of my life.”

“But…but I picked it out because you really are in my heart forever, babe.” Reiner stopped short behind Bertholdt as they reached the register. His bottom lip pulled into a simpering pout as he put on the best puppy dog face he could manage. He knew full well that Bertholdt would give in to anything when he whipped this one out. 

Bertholdt looked down at Reiner. He knew it was intentional. He knew he shouldn’t give in. But Reiner looked so damn cute with his lip pouted out like that, so kissable, so endearing…

He sighed, admitting defeat, as per usual. “Fine. We’ll get it. But the book on hovercraft mechanics stays.”

“Deal!” Reiner grinned eagerly. He tossed the plush onto the counter and swept the hovercraft book to the side. Bertholdt glanced at him from the corner of his eye in mock annoyance, barely keeping a straight face. He felt his cheeks turning red as Reiner gazed lovingly back at him. It was astounding how, no matter how often Reiner did outlandish things like this, Bertholdt never felt anything but pure, unadulterated passion for the man. No amount of ridiculous shenanigans could dampen the flame of desire and love between the two of them. 

He grinned, laughing at the way Reiner pranced to the door with the plush toy in his arms after check out. Reiner held the door open wide, making a sweep gesture with his arm as he did so. “After you, my handsome, sweaty prince.”

Bertholdt rolled his eyes as he crossed the threshold. “Thank you for that. Urine my heart, too, you big goof.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually based off an excursion I had to Powell's City of Books with a couple of friends! We didn't find the plushies, but we did find buttons and socks with this slogan on them. I fell in love with the idea the Reiner would have waaaaay too much fun with that shit. xD
> 
> Wowza, all of these seem to be ending up from Bertl's POV!! I'm going to shoot for something from Reiner's POV to break it up a little! Hopefully updating again later tonight!


	10. Galaxy in a Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: Bertholdt gets whiny and horny when he's drunk. Also, Reiner likes to watch chick flicks when he drinks.

“Hey. Reiner. Hey,” Bertholdt pawed clumsily at the front of Reiner’s t-shirt. “Reiner. ‘S hot in ‘ere.”

Reiner giggled as he blearily watched Legally Blonde for the umpteenth time. He shifted his gaze and looked down at the brunet cuddled up to his chest, gazing into the deep brown eyes that looked up at him imploringly. The glassiness and slight red tinge to Bertholdt’s eyes was incredibly obvious and made Reiner giggle even more. “’Course it is, Bert. You’re drunk.”

“Nooooooo,” Bertholdt buried his face into his boyfriend’s abdomen. His voice became muffled and slurred even further. “’M not drunk. Nuh uh.”

“No?” Reiner ran a hand through Bertholdt’s messy mahogany hair. “So you can handle one more drink, huh?”

He was very aware that Bertholdt was near his limit. They had drank together enough times before to have discovered both their tolerances; Reiner had tested his quite more often than Bertholdt. But tonight he decided he wanted to take care of his boy, so he had purposely taken fewer shots. He had also bought a surprise drink for Bertholdt, and now seemed like the perfect time to break it out. Bertholdt’s head snapped up as he attempted to lock gazes with Reiner. 

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

Bertholdt held flung his hand up in exasperation and sighed, “Can handle it!”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Are you really sure?”

“Babyyyyyyyyy…” Bertholdt whined. He slouched back into the couch, annoyance very apparent in his scrunched up facial features. Reiner took a moment to admire the curve of his nose and the way his hair flopped unceremoniously on his forehead, the dark locks contrasting accentuating his tan complexion. Bertholdt’s chest rose and fell heavily as he took deep breaths between his whining pleas. 

“Okay, okay, hang on,” Reiner said. He couldn’t stop the delighted grin that spread across his face. He knew Bertholdt would be hurting in the morning, but right now he was incredibly entertaining. Making it to the kitchen with only a few missteps and only one near encounter with a doorjamb, Reiner pulled a bottle out of the fridge. He shook it vigorously a few times, mesmerized by the swirls of blue and silver in the purple liquid. Imagining how Bertholdt would react to the drink made him smile even wider. 

Two wine glasses sat out on the counter where Reiner had left them earlier. He knew better than to trust himself fumbling around trying to get them out of the cabinet after a few shots. Grabbing the glasses by their bases and the cork screw next to them, he carefully made his way back out to the living room.

Bertholdt sat entranced in front of the television in the same slack position Reiner had left him in. He raised a hand from its resting place on his stomach to point at the screen. 

“She’s my hero,” he stated. Reiner looked at the screen and laughed, the noise reverberating in his chest. 

“Elle Woods is your hero, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me why she’s your hero, Bertl-Bear,” Reiner implored. He set the glasses and bottle down on the white coffee table, scooting aside their shot glasses to make room, and set to his task of opening the bottle. Bertholdt flung his hands up into the air again. 

“She’s just…just…so great, ya know? Like. Like she’s just the best, Reiner. The best,” he threw his hands out directly in front of him as if to somehow emphasize his point. “You ‘ave good taste.”

“I have good taste?” Reiner chuckled. The cork of the bottle finally came out with a small _pop_. 

“Yeah. Yer the one who loves this movie so much,” Bertholdt explained. Reiner proceeded to pour a small glass of the purple drink for each of them, nodding and giggling all the while. 

“Looks like you’ve got a soft spot for it, too, babe,” he grinned lazily at Bertholdt as he handed him a glass. “Here,” he swirled it around a bit in front of Bertholdt’s face, “I got you a surprise.”

Bertholdt’s brow furrowed deeply as he looked at the substance before him. After a few long moments of consideration, he finally spoke. “The fuck is this?”

Reiner barely managed to keep his hold on the glass as he laughed again. There were only two circumstances that could cause Bertholdt to swear: he was either being fucked into oblivion, or incredibly drunk. “It’s called Viniq, babe.”

“’Viniq Babe’,” Bertholdt repeated, sending Reiner into another fit of giggles. He pulled himself up suddenly, nearly colliding with the glass in Reiner’s hand. “It looks like…it looks like a goddamn galazy in a glass!”

“It looks like what?” Reiner asked through his giggles. 

“A galazy!”

“A galaxy?”

Bertholdt huffed in annoyance. “That’s what I said!”

“Okay, babe, whatever you say. Just drink it and tell me what you think.”

“But I don’t wanna drink it. It’s too pretty. Can’t ruin it.”

“Bertholdt, please just drink it.” Reiner grabbed his boyfriend’s lanky hand and wrapped it around the stem of the wine glass before grabbing his own glass from the table. He tapped his glass gently against that which Bertholdt was gazing into, mesmerized by the glittery swirls. “Cheers.”

Bertholdt snapped out of his trance and raised the glass to his lips, mostly attempting to mimic Reiner’s motions. His eyebrows shot up as his taste buds were assaulted with fruity flavor. 

“It’s sweet!” His voice squeaked slightly. Reiner licked his lips, adoring the genuinely surprised expression on Bertholdt’s face. He loved the flush on Bertholdt’s cheeks, the red hue on the tops of his ears, the way he picked and pulled at his lips with his thumb and forefinger. He was positively blown away by the knowledge that this precious man had somehow fallen in love with him. There would never be a method for Reiner to adequately express his love and adoration for Bertholdt, try as he may. 

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s got a bit of a kick, too,” Reiner said. He let his gaze drop down to his glass. Bertholdt stared at him for a few moments. 

“You’re really hot.” 

Reiner nearly choked as he took another sip of the fruity drink. He turned to look at Bertholdt again, this time his golden eyes wide in confusion and sheer amusement. “Where the hell did that come from?”

“’S a fact.” Bertholdt set his glass down hard on the coffee table, making Reiner glad he only poured a small amount for him. His hands fumbled momentarily with the collar of his t-shirt as he pulled it over his head, apparently tired of the heat he was feeling. He then proceeded to pull himself into Reiner’s lap, swinging his leg around Reiner clumsily. Reiner held his arms up above his head as he tried to figure out what Bertholdt was doing. 

Bertholdt ran his fingers around the edge of the black v-neck shirt Reiner wore, toying with the ribbed cotton trim experimentally. He began tracing the sharp lines of Reiner’s collar bone, revering the succulent skin that rest just above them. He leaned forward just slightly, resting his forehead against Reiner’s as he continued to trace lines with his slender fingers against Reiner’s chest.  
“Yer just so...sexy. All the time. I dunno how you do that.” He said softly. He rubbed small circles on Reiner’s neck. Reiner lulled his head back as he lowered his arms and scrambled to set his wine glass on the end table to his right. He brought his arms down to rest his strong hands gently on Bertholdt’s hips, mimicking Bertholdt’s behavior and making circles there with his own thumbs. Bertholdt moaned low in his throat and began grinding his hips against Reiner’s lap. 

Reiner drew his hand up to Bertholdt’s face, cupping his cheek as he looked lovingly into his eyes. Bertholdt’s own brown eyes were sparkling with desire and lust beneath their glossy sheen, begging Reiner to continue, daring him to touch his body. Reiner pulled Bertholdt forward into a passionate, if sloppy, and rough kiss. He moaned hungrily into the kiss as Bertholdt moved against him.  
He bit his lip as he broke the kiss, running his hand down the supple bare skin of Bertholdt’s chest. 

“You know this isn’t going anywhere tonight, right?” He didn’t ask the question so much as breath it against Bertholdt’s neck. Bertholdt groaned in response. 

“Reinerrrrr…I need you…”

Reiner grimaced. He wished desperately that Bertholdt was more sober right now. Hearing these moans and pleas was killing him.  
“I know, baby. But we can wait until tomorrow.”

“Noooo….but yer so seeeexy…”

“Uh huh,” Reiner humored his boyfriend. He planted a wet kiss on Bertholdt’s neck before pulling away and brushing the hair out of the brunet’s eyes. “I’ll still be sexy tomorrow morning, ya know.”

Bertholdt giggled, sending even more color rushing to his already flushed cheeks. “Yer always sexy.”

“Okay, Bertl-Bear,” Reiner giggled. “How ‘bout you lay down on the couch and I’ll go get you a glass of water, okay?”

Bertholdt sighed in defeat. His lips pouted, adorably as far as Reiner was concerned, and he tossed his arms around Reiner’s neck. “’Kay. But I needta finish my drink first.”

“Mmhmm. You finish that and lay down, I’ll be right back.” Reiner hauled Bertholdt off his lap and set him gently back in his own seat on the couch. He handed him the wine glass from the coffee table before sauntering off the kitchen for water. 

When he returned with two large glasses, he found Bertholdt sprawled out on the couch, comfy as could be, as he slowly sipped his ‘galaxy’ drink. Reiner stood at the end of the couch for a few minutes, just observing Bertholdt, drinking in his half clothed form. He really, truly, desperately hoped that morning would find its way to them faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *flips air hockey table* WHAT EVEN ARE ENDINGS. 
> 
> Working my way up to porn, I swear it. T'was a good first step I think! Let me know how you liked this one, it was so much fun to write! :D


	11. King Sized

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: Reiner is usually very outgoing and confident in most aspects of life, but when he gets horny he becomes shy and starts using terrible pick up lines on his poor boyfriend. Bertholdt doesn't mind however, because it means that Reiner lets him be more dominant in the bedroom. 
> 
> I've had a headcanon that Bertholdt likes to be more dominant during sex FOREVER, and it took me so long to find someone who shared that sentiment!

The cool plastic nipped at Reiner’s skin as they sat in the restaurant. Air conditioning set just a bit too cool chilled him, making the skin of his forearms prick up and tingle. He glanced nervously between the red plastic tray in front of him and the brunet man who sat opposite him absentmindedly munching on french fries as he browsed his phone. Reiner crumpled up the waxy burger wrapper in his hand and tossed it onto the tray. It rolled directly into the neat little pile of ketchup Bertholdt had just squeezed out of a packet.   
Bertholdt stopped mid-bite. He looked up at Reiner questioningly. 

“Oh. Sorry,” Reiner said. He grinned sheepishly, clenching his hands together on the table top. 

“It’s okay,” Bertholdt replied quietly. He swept the wrapper out of his way and continued to eat. It took much more than that to bother him. Reiner watched, mesmerized, as Bertholdt took small, careful bites of each fry. The way he flicked his tongue out in between bites and left a sheen of saliva left behind on his plump lower lip made Reiner want to jump across the table and taste the tangy, salty bitterness there for himself. A slight pink blush smatter across Bertholdt’s cheeks as he smiled, amused by something he saw on his phone screen. Reiner’s heel tapped impatiently on the smooth white tiles of the restaurant floor. 

“Hey, Bertl,” he blurted suddenly. Bertholdt hummed in response, slowly tearing his eyes away from the phone screen. Reiner grimaced nervously. “Burger King isn’t the only king-sized thing here.”

Bertholdt stopped chewing and stared at his boyfriend, trying to figure out what had just happed. He cleared his throat and hastily wiped his salty fingers on a rough paper napkin. 

“Reiner, did you just make a dick joke in a public restaurant?”

Reiner blinked. He tried to set his face into what he hoped was a playful expression. “Um…y-yeah?”

He began tugging at his earlobe. Bertholdt continued staring at him, looking him up and down, observing the erratic movements of Reiner’s hands as he picked and pulled at the hairline on the back of his neck. Reiner seemed outlandishly nervous, something that was very odd for such a normally outgoing man. There was only one thing that could bring Reiner into such a state of nervousness. 

“O-oh,” Bertholdt stammered. “Do we, uh…do we need to go home?”

Reiner stared unblinking across the table at Bertholdt, lips twitching as he tried to form a response. 

“…yup.”

Bertholdt giggled. He knew Reiner always got embarrassed in moods like this for some reason, and it would never cease to amuse him. He began cleaning up the messy tray on their small table and got up to make his way to the trash can, making sure he brushed his ass against Reiner’s arm as he went. Reiner ran a thick hand over his face before taking off after him. 

***

The front door clamored shut as Bertholdt was pinned up against it. Reiner had wasted no time snatching the back of his shirt and pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss as soon as they crossed the threshold of their small home. His hands slipped beneath Bertholdt’s soft cotton t-shirt, caressing the tender skin of his hips. He rubbed small circles on the protruding hip bones there, becoming more rough as he dug his fingers into Bertholdt’s flesh. Bertholdt moaned in response to the touch, tangling his own hands into Reiner’s rough blond hair as he tried to pull them closer together. 

Reiner’s hands continued to wander up Bertholdt’s slim waist, pausing to pinch at his nipples, which were quickly hardening. It was a dirty move, he knew, because Bertholdt had always been sensitive. But the sweet whining noise that was elicited from his lover’s lips was well worth whatever scolding he might receive later. He tugged the shirt off Bertholdt, tossing it to the floor, and began quickly working to undo Bertholdt’s belt. Breaking the kiss, he rested his forehead against that of the panting brunet man before him. 

“Hey, Bertl,” he muttered breathlessly as his fingers fumbled with the metal clasp of the belt. “I fuckin’ love undressing you…” He nipped at Bertholdt’s lip and began pulling at the zipper of his jeans. “But I kind of, um…I want…”

Bertholdt dug his fingernails into Reiner’s scalp, taking the hint in stride. His jean fell to the floor, an he stepped out of them clumsily as he pushed Reiner back and guided him down the hallway, nipping and kissing at his lips as they went. 

He pushed Reiner gently on to the king sized bed in their room. The way Reiner’s shirt rode up as he fell back exhibited his taught stomach, driving Bertholdt mad. He began planting kisses on Reiner’s belly, nuzzling and licking softly as his hands explored his chest. Reiner covered his face, biting down on a knuckle as he moaned at the pleasurable sensation. Bertholdt hastily unfastened his boyfriend’s jeans and tugged them down to his knees, licking a trail down to Reiner’s groin as he went. 

Reiner felt like he must be in heaven as he looked down into Bertholdt’s big brown eyes, filled with lust and twinkling with devilish charm. Bertholdt smirked as he began mouthing at Reiner’s erection through the fabric of his boxers. He slid his fingers beneath the bottom seams of the garment and scratched gently at the tender skin of Reiner’s inner thighs, eliciting another pleasured moan from Reiner’s lips. 

“Tell me what you want, Reiner.” His voice was husky, sultry as he gazed up at the blond. “Tell me all the dirty things you want me to do to you.”

Reiner all but whimpered as Bertholdt ran his wet tongue along the shaft of his cock. “God, Bertl…I…I want you to suck me. Please.”

“Mmm,” Bertholdt hummed. He continued to massage Reiner’s thighs, creeping closer to his groin. “That all?”

“I want you to…god, Bertl, I want you to fuck me so bad. Please. I need you.”

Bertholdt grinned. Hearing his boyfriend beg and moan like this was incredibly satisfying. Ordinarily the submissive one in most aspects of life, Bertholdt reveled in the more dominant spells he got in the bedroom. He pulled Reiner’s boxers down, blowing a slow breath along Reiner’s exposed shaft. Reiner let out a shuddering breath as Bertholdt took his cock in his mouth, sinking down to the hilt. Bertholdt pumped his head a few times, swirling his tongue around the shaft, before hollowing his cheeks and pulling away from the head with a small _pop _.__

__“Is this what you were thinking about a lunch, Reiner? I bet you couldn’t stop thinking about my lips around your cock. You have such a dirty mind sometimes.” He dropped one of his hands lower, massaging the area around Reiner’s opening with his thumb. As he slowly prodded the tender region, he took Reiner’s cock back into his mouth and grasped tightly around the base with his free hand. Pumping up and down in rhythm as he sucked was enough on it’s own to make Reiner cry out._ _

__“God, Bertholdt! Yes! Mmmmm, please…I need more…”_ _

__“I’ll take care of you, baby, don’t worry,” Bertholdt murmured. He put two fingers in his mouth, making sure they were as slick as he could before circling Reiner’s entrance once more. Pressing one finger into the tight ring of muscle, he gently flicked his tongue across the tip of Reiner’s cock. He continued to lick, and suck, hollowing his cheeks and moaning seductively to send pleasing vibrations through Reiner as he gradually slipped in a second, then a third finger. When he had stretched Reiner’s ass to his satisfaction, he released the head of his cock with another wet pop._ _

__“Bertholdt…” Reiner looked down at him, his golden eyes pleading. “Please…”_ _

__Bertholdt got to his feet and quickly dropped his own boxers. He hastily moved to the bedside table to retrieve a small bottle of lube. The cool liquid sent blissful sensations through his body as he slicked himself up and moved back to the end of the bed. His cock twitched as he looked down upon the mewling mess of a man before him; Reiner’s hands were exploring his own body, inching their way down to his slick cock, as he panted softly. It was nearly more than Bertholdt could take. He lifted Reiner’s legs to set his ankles upon his shoulders, guiding his throbbing cock to Reiner’s entrance. As he slowly slid inside Reiner, Bertholdt’s jaw dropped at the sensation. The soft, tight warmth around his cock was surreal, and combined with the sounds that Reiner made it became absolutely intoxicating._ _

__“So good… _fuck_ , Bertl...”_ _

__Hearing Reiner’s pleasured moans incited Bertholdt to move, setting a slow pace. Reiner reached up, clawing gently at Bertholdt’s chest. His tongue flitted across his lips hungrily, eyes sparkling with pure bliss, silently encouraging Bertholdt to pick up the pace. Bertholdt smiled down at him and grabbed his pale hips, digging his thumbs into them roughly as he pounded into Reiner. Reiner cried out, throwing his head back and throwing his hands down to the mattress and gripping the sheets tightly._ _

__“Is this what you wanted, Reiner?” Bertholdt’s voice is breathless, barely audible above Reiner’s moans. “You wanted to be fucked hard today, didn’t you?”_ _

__“Mmhmm…” Reiner panted softly, unable to form a coherent response as Bertholdt drives into his prostate once more. Bertholdt leaned forward, picking up his pace, making sure to hit that delightful spot inside Reiner again and again. The tight heat around his cock was driving him crazy, and he could feel a familiar warmth beginning to pool in his stomach. He grabbed hold of Reiner’s cock, pumping in rhythm with his thrusts, determined to get his boyfriend to orgasm before himself._ _

__“ _Fuck_!” Reiner cried out, covering his face with one hand. _ _

__“I want to see your face, Reiner,” Bertholdt breathed. “Let me see your face when you cum for me.”_ _

__Reiner bit into his lower lip as he dropped his hand to the sheets once more. He looked up at Bertholdt, eyes half lidded in his euphoric state, whimpering as Bertholdt continued to stroke his cock. He could feel himself getting close, so close, and he sucked in a sharp breath as the head of Bertholdt’s cock collided with his prostate over and over again. His stomach tightened, his cock throbbing and aching for release, as Bertholdt stroked him so perfectly. His legs shuddered as he came, and he dug his fingernails into the sheets once more._ _

__“Bertholdt!” Reiner hadn’t realized he had been holding his breath until he cried out his lover’s name, his voice low and raspy. Bertholdt moaned, unable to hold himself back any longer as he looked down upon Reiner’s heavenly, bliss-out features. He could feel Reiner’s tight muscles spasm around his cock, driving him wild with ecstasy. He picked up his pace again, gripping Reiner’s hips tightly as he pushed himself to his own climax._ _

__“Ah! God, Bertl, yes!” The moans and cries from Reiner set Bertholdt over the edge. He came with a deep moan, leaning over to rest his forehead on Reiner’s chest as he slowed down and drained his seed into him. He felt Reiner’s fingers toying with his sweaty hair, but couldn’t find the energy to look up just yet. After a few moments of recovery, he turned his gaze up to Reiner, who was grinning from ear to ear._ _

__“I fucking love you, babe,” Reiner stated. Bertholdt laughed, breathless, and planted a kiss on his chest._ _

__“Yeah. I love you, too.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THAT WAS MY FIRST REAL ATTEMPT AT PORN. 
> 
> Please, please, pleeeease let me know how you think I did! Criticism is my best friend and will only help me become a better writer!


	12. Marks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reibert Week Day 5: Marks
> 
> Reiner and Bertholdt are both born with strange birthmarks. Bertholdt often finds himself questioning the marks late at night.

Our lives are exceedingly ordinary. We have an ordinary house, with an ordinary yard. We drive ordinary cars. Have ordinary jobs. Reiner and I both are just…just ordinary. 

Except the birthmarks. 

My mother’s brow would always crease with worry when she looked at dark line, gaped like an open wound, on the nape of my neck. “It looks like a big ol’ cut, Bertie,” she would say. “Like someone sliced you right open.”

I never was able to see it properly. Pictures only catch a certain amount of likeness. 

That was, until I, very literally, ran into Reiner. We were 11. The first day of sixth grade; new teachers, new classrooms, new school entirely. I got lost and had to rush to beat the first bell, and ended up running smack into the husky frame of a little blond kid who seemed to be in the same predicament. I remember seeing the surprise that flashed briefly in those bright golden eyes of his; I thought for sure he was going to yell at me. But he didn’t. He actually just laughed. The sound resonated through the empty hallway of the school, his deep bellied laugh, as booming as his pre-pubescent voice would allow. “You looked so scared!” He had said. “Like ya seen a monster or somethin’!” He knelt down to pick up my class schedule that had fallen out of my hand. And that was when I saw it.   
Deep brown, contrasting strongly against his pale skin tone, just a couple inches long, and gaped in the shape of a wound.  
Reiner had the birthmark, too. 

No picture I had ever seen could have prepared me for that moment. That scrappy looking little blond kid shoved the piece of paper into my chest, raising his eyebrows questioningly as I stood there in shock. The bell rang, and he took off cursing under his breath.  
We had immediately become friends after that, by some grace of a higher power. Pretty soon we were inseparable, through middle school, high school, even college. I didn’t know what it was about him, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to survive without him after that stupid first encounter. 

Reiner had been excited about the marks. He thought they were “so cool, we’re matching, it’s like you and me are supposed to be friends Bertl, it’s DESTINY!”

And now I can’t help but think that maybe it really was destiny. As I sit here, late at night, sleepless yet again, I can’t help but think that somehow these marks have connected us in ways that we can’t even fathom. Watching the steady rise and fall of Reiner’s chest as he sleeps, listening to the muffled little phrases he mumbles every so often, counting the new cowlicks that pop up in his mess of hair each time he tosses or turns…and seeing that mark on the nape of his neck every time he flops over onto his belly.   
I can’t help but reach out and trace the mark with my fingertip. Just to make sure that it’s real. That he’s real. My best friend. My soulmate. My Reiner. 

He rolls over, a delirious smile etched upon his lips, and tugs on my wrist, inviting me down into his warm embrace. As I lay my head on his chest, I still can’t help but think of the marks, of what they might mean. Maybe it was just weird chance that we ended up with the same marks. Maybe we had past lives that are trying to make themselves known. But really, it doesn’t matter. Maybe Reiner and I were extraordinary in some other time. But right here, right now, we are ordinary. And I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHA I FINALLY GOT MY ASS IN GEAR FOR ONE DAY OF REIBERT WEEK AFTER LIKE WHAT A MONTH OF NOT WRITING????? I'm so sorry, there's just been a lot of shit happening lately. D:
> 
> Please let me know what you think of this chapter! I had a hard time with it, I would love some feedback!


	13. Give Me The Bertie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon to tumblr users tarulumint and mochiartemisa:
> 
> Reiner unabashedly sleeps with a teddy bear and everyone knows it. It's name is Bertie. And he goes apeshit if the bear if ever missing. 
> 
> And then I added my own:
> 
> The 104th kids all met in either high school or college. Either way, they all ended up as neighbors in the same apartment complex. Poor assholes.

“Bertholdt!” Reiner’s voice boomed through the small apartment, sound bouncing off the nearly barren white walls. Bertholdt, who was sitting on the living room couch and trying to study for an exam the next morning, sighed and set his textbook on his crisscrossed legs. He turned his attention down the hallway, toward Reiner’s bedroom. “Bertholdt!” Reiner’s voice boomed through the small apartment, sound bouncing off the nearly barren white walls. Bertholdt, who was sitting on the living room couch and trying to study for an exam the next morning, sighed and set his textbook on his crisscrossed legs. He turned his attention down the hallway, toward Reiner’s bedroom. 

“What now, Reiner?”

Reiner came barreling out of his bedroom, his ankle dragging a blanket behind him as he went. “Where is he?”

Bertholdt’s brow immediately knit tightly in confusion. “What? Where is who?”

“Bertie!” Reiner threw his hands up in exasperation, running them through his thick blond hair before pulling up the hood of his black sweatshirt and pulling the drawstrings tight. “Bertie the Bear! I got home from class, went to lay down, and he’s gone! The hell did you do with him?!”

Bertholdt tried his best to maintain the annoyed expression on his face. “Reiner, I can hardly understand you when you have a mouthful of hoodie like that.”

Reiner pulled his lips above the cloth, glaring at Bertholdt in defiance and rage. “Where. Is. Bertie. The bear?”

Bertie the bear. The bear Bertholdt had given Reiner for Christmas three years ago as a joke. The bear Reiner had christened after the person who gave it to him. The bear he purchased outfits for and slept with every night. His most prized possession, for some god awful reason. 

“Why would I take your bear, Reiner?”

“Hell if I know! Just want him back!”

“The last time I saw him was this morning. When I had to pretty much drag you out of bed so you wouldn’t be late for class.”  
Reiner’s golden eyes went wide. His voice dropped to a low whisper. “Is that why you took him?”

“Oh for the love of-“ Bertholdt covered his face with the textbook he had set down moments before. “I didn’t take your damn bear! Ask Jean, he was here earlier, maybe-“

He stopped and lowered his gaze, his expression shifting from sheer annoyance to sudden comprehension. Reiner took a couple steps further toward the couch, all the while clutching the draw strings of his hoodie. 

“Maybe…what, Bertl?”

“Maybe…well, he said he needed to use our bathroom because Connie was hogging the one in their apartment, so I let him in. But…”

“But?”

“But remember how you took that picture of him the other night when he was drunk? And he said he’d ‘exact his revenge’?”

Reiner’s jaw went slack. His grip on the drawstrings loosened, and he pulled the hood back down to reveal his now completely mussed hair. Bertholdt winced, knowing precisely what was about to happen. 

“Look, I’ll go over there and talk to Jean, don’t-”

“Imma tear his room apart.”

“Reiner, no!” Bertholdt jumped up from the couch in a vain attempt to pursue Reiner out the door of the apartment. Reiner was banging on the door of the apartment across the hall before he could even make it to the threshold. 

“Jean! Open the door, you douchebag! This isn’t funny!”

“Reiner, oh my god, stop, there are kids in this complex-“

“I JUST WANT MY DAMN TEDDY BEAR OKAY?” Reiner continued to bellow through the cheap wooden door. 

A burst of laughter interrupted his rant. Jean trotted around the corner of the hallway, clutching his side with one hand, recording a video on his phone with the other. Connie trailed behind him, nearly doubled over in laughter. In his hand was a plush teddy bear, roughly the size of his entire abdomen, it’s sleek black fur a tangled mess. 

“So, did ya-“ Jean paused to take in a sharp breath between laughing fits. “Did ya learn your lesson about taking pictures of drunk people, you infected dick wart?”

He peeled with laughter again, oblivious to the oncoming danger as Reiner took heavy steps down the hall. Reiner stood toe to toe with Jean in a matter of seconds, glaring down at the smaller man in front of him. 

“Give him back,” Reiner growled. “Now.”

Connie damn near squeaked, despite his position behind Jean, and shoved the bear out toward Reiner. Jean winced as the synthetic fur brushed his face. He was sure there was a fist soon to follow. Reiner snatched the bear out of Connie’s hand and glared one last time at Jean before turning quickly on his heel. 

“Next time, I’ll just tell your mom.”

Jean felt a churn of anxiety in his gut as the door to Reiner’s apartment slammed shut. His phone vibrated with a text message notification. 

_From Sasha: gr8 show, guys! I’m sure it will get tons of likes!_

He whipped his head up, trying to figure out what the fuck she meant by that. And then he saw it. The corner of a purple case peeking out from behind the corner at the other end of the hallway. Jean turned to Connie slowly, his eyes blazing with heat and hatred. 

Connie grinned sheepishly. “I, uh…I maaaaay have told Sasha what we were doin’ to Reiner…and I maaaaay have told her Reiner would flip shit if his bear was gone..”

Jean groaned. Living next door to groups of friends was kind of a nightmare sometimes.


End file.
